DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend, “John,” for a year and a half. He had been divorced for two years after a 20-year marriage when we got together. He told me he and his ex, “Jessica,” were still good friends. I thought it was OK since they were co-parenting their kid. I have children of my own, and I understand.

I gave up everything and moved two hours away to move in with John. Then I realized he was constantly talking and texting with her. Then I noticed all the food containers in the fridge were from her. It made me realize how much he depends on Jessica. John told me they divorced because they grew apart.

When we discussed it further, John admitted he still depends on Jessica for everything from dinners to paying his bills and daily conversations. They are both in relationships and continue to act like this. Their “kid” is now 18 and has graduated from high school. Am I wrong for not wanting to move forward in this relationship? John doesn’t seem to want or need me.


DEAR CONFUSED: To say that John is overly dependent on Jessica would be an understatement, and Jessica seems to like it that way. You’re not wrong for preferring not to move forward in this relationship; you are intelligent. For you to move forward, Jessica would have to step aside — and it appears that neither she nor John is open to doing that.



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